I come to you today from the little town of Ephraim - the lobby of the Suites at Academy Square, to be exact. Typically I would not be in the lobby, because more often than not, the notoriously indecorous college students use it as a rowdy hangout. Thankfully, however, today they are not.
For some reason, it seems like the students here at the Suites seem to be more of the party group than the others - perhaps it’s just the nature of on-campus housing? For example, one such student with a great beard and a mischievous look on his face just crept across the room holding a large halloween clown mask in his hand. Do I even want to know?
So why aren’t I in my college dorm you ask? Well, to be quite frank, my dorm, at the moment, smells like feet wrapped in old sweaty ham and doused with Axe. Axe, Anarchy scented. Yeah. Axe Anarchy. Not to mention, my roommate is dead asleep, and I don’t want to prove a disturbance to him at such an early hour of the late afternoon. After all, he needs his rest.
I don’t want to come across as being discontented with my living situation! All things considered it’s very nice, and my roommates are great guys. Granted, I don’t see them that often because I spend so much time on campus, but hey - the time that I do spend with them is pleasant, so don’t think that I’m complaining.
Speaking of all that, I'm gonna tell you guys a story! How does that sound? :)
Speaking of all that, I'm gonna tell you guys a story! How does that sound? :)
Brief Background
Coming to Snow College has been quite an adventure, all things considered. As you may or may not know, I became engaged to be married last semester, and would have been married for a month by now. Due to many importunes of the Spirit, however, she and I called it all off and now she’s going on a mission to Peru! It was quite a dramatic event, the details of which I will not harrow you with at this time; suffice it to say that we followed the Lord’s promptings and we’re both at peace with our decisions.
But life was not to simply return to its former state so smoothly. You see, because of the engagement, I had sold my housing contract. In addition, amidst all the chaos and drama, I allowed my grades to drop below what they should have been, and I lost my scholarship. I now had no money, nowhere to live, and no idea of what to do.
During the holiday break, I wrote a letter to have my scholarship appealed because I knew that if I didn’t get it back, I couldn’t afford to return to Ephraim! So for three weeks I was at the uncertain mercy of the Scholarship board. Trying to remain positive, I registered for all of my classes and simply planned on returning.
Days passed. Weeks passed. Still no word from the Scholarship board.
Seeking Answers From the Lord
Finally it came down the the last Friday before school should start! I had three days before classes began, and I still did not know what I was to do. As any RM would, I had been praying constantly about this but without any miraculous revelation. At this time I decided to break out the big guns. I went to the temple.
I was determined to stay until I knew how to proceed. On one hand I could go down to Ephraim in the morning and have faith that they eventually give me my scholarship back, or I could begin applying for jobs at home and take the semester off. While in the temple I was not getting the impressions I had hoped. So I continued to pray!
There is one thing I had to keep in mind during this whole process: the Lord does not direct a motionless vessel. I could not simply ask Him what I should do and expect that He give me every detail needed to proceed! We must first be moving in a particular direction. Then, when we are off course, He will correct us; when we are on the right course, He will comfort us. Such was my case: I had concocted a course of action and was seeking comfort in it. My plan was to return to Ephraim in the morning, seek a job at Key Research Solutions (a lovely call center in town), and hope that I got my scholarship. With a job, I would be able to make enough money to pay for food - but just barely. A job and my scholarship were both necessary if I were to return.
At length, the answer came. Among other things, I was instructed to proceed with my current plan to return to Ephraim! I questioned what I were to do if I did not get my scholarship, to which the Lord replied that I didn’t need to worry about that right now. If it happened that way, He would direct me further. Having been enveloped by the light, airy feelings of the Spirit, I looked up and walked out of the temple with purpose in my stride. Finally! I knew what I should do.
Entering the Bondage Stage
However. You know that feeling you get when you step into the dark expecting there to be a stair, only to be met with empty atmosphere? Your heart leaps into your throat and panic shoots through you. Well, this was nothing like that. This was more like walking into a low-hanging tree branch.
Later that night as I was writing down my impressions from the temple, I had the sudden impression to check my account on the college website, where information concerning my scholarship would be located. I sprang to my laptop and searched through my account. I came across a notification. What I read deflated my confidence quite a bit.
I was not given my scholarship. Instead they had granted me a sum of money that, while generous, was yet smaller than the sum granted me last semester.
I was stunned! What the heck am I supposed to do now? All the purpose in my stride had been yanked out of my knees! In frustration I made a vague post on Facebook and went to bed. A good friend of mine, seeing my post, had been through something similar and began texting me. As we talked I was comforted in the idea of staying home and finding a job. I can do this! It’s the smart thing to do. This way I can earn more money and pay off my debt, build a small video business with my friends, life would be great!
I Finally Know What To Do! Or...At Least I Think I Do
So the next morning I made it official! Facebook official. I was officially staying home. I got on Snow’s website, dropped all of my classes, and registered for a few online classes. This way I could get credits while not having to pay for rent or groceries. My life was going to go pretty good. And now I didn’t have to panic about moving down to Ephraim that day! I was officially warmed up to this new course I was to follow, and I trusted that this is what the Lord meant when He told me not to worry about it - He would take care of it.
Once again, however, I must mention that the Lord only directs vessels in motion, and when needed will correct our course. On Sunday morning the Lord woke me up with the words: “Taylor. You need to be in Ephraim.”
Are you kidding me? ...No? You’re serious? Yeah. You’re serious. Ok. Well. I guess I kinda saw this coming. It’s to be expected for a guy who just spent the last few weeks writing about “Deliverance Stories” and posting them on his blog.
On Bondage and Deliverance
Speaking of which, I want to comment on just that: this deliverance story I find myself placed in. If you read my last blog on deliverance and captivity, this will be a short repeat.
Often, the Lord intentionally leads us into captivity. That captivity takes many forms! It could be a literal bondage, financial struggle, being single, leaving a group of friends, leaving your job, moving to another home, going on a mission, or a combination of a few of these things, as my situation is. No matter what the details, the elements are the same.
1) God brings you there; 2) circumstances are unfavorable; 3) circumstances seem beyond your control; 4) God promises that things will be okay. That’s what this was like. I had no money, no job, no housing, no schedule, no group of friends to go with, and no clue if I could make it work. What I did have, however, was Nephi’s promise that the “Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7).
Needless to say, Sunday came and went and I had a place to live, classes to go to in the morning, and reassurance that my “captivity” would be but temporary. This promise has proven to be fulfilled so far! Given this fact, I trust that it will continue to be fulfilled.
God Always Delivers
I drove down Monday morning, missing only two of my classes that day. Throughout the afternoon between activities, I slowly moved in to my dorm and became acquainted with my roommates. I even figured out my ward and made it to our FHE activity that night! I was very happy to learn that I had several friends from last semester in my ward who helped immensely to make me feel welcome.
By Tuesday night I had met my professors, met with school counsellors, worked out plans, and secured a job at Key Research Solutions. Thus far, every aspect of the Lord’s promise has been fulfilled! Now am I always happy? No. Do I sometimes feel lost? Of course! Such are the conditions of captivity. But God will always deliver, for He wants to be my Light, my Comfort, and my Fire - and He will be, so long as I let Him. I pray that I always will!
I testify that the Lord keeps His promises! His title of “Deliverer” is not just what we call Him because He atoned for us, though that is a great part of it. He is the Deliverer because He loves to deliver us. He delivers because He loves us; He delivers because He loves to help; He delivers because He wants to be known; He delivers because He wants us to trust Him; He delivers so that we will follow Him; He delivers so that we will stand as witnesses for Him thereafter.
I love my Savior and my Father in Heaven. Even though they sometimes draw these ridiculous pathways through snow and tell me to follow, I know that they only do it for my good. For whatever reason I really need to be here, so I guess I’ll find out when I need to!
The moral here: follow the Lord, no matter what the cost. He will make it work!
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Thanks for sticking with me through this long entry! I hope you found something here that was beneficial for you. God be with you till we meet again!
Sincerely,
Taylor, a dead missionary
