Can Mormons drink coffee? Actually, yes.

Recently, while attending Snow College, I’ve had the privilege of associating with many young single adults in the church, many of whom are just out of high school, but ultimately are all in different phases of life. 

Many times in the last year, I’ve listened to them talk about living commandments. All of us are at that point where parents are no longer bringing us to church, giving us a curfew, making sure we’re not drinking, or monitoring our text messages. They’re not there to remind us to pay tithing, go to the temple, or date people with the same standards. 

We’re all adults out here, and we’re choosing to live the commandments on our own! So why, when I hear you talk about your standards, do I hear you say… 

You “can’t”? You can’t drink tea? You can’t drink coffee? You can’t go to the store because it’s Sunday? You can’t have sex until you're married? You can’t watch that R-rated movie? You can’t wear that dress? You can’t stay out past midnight on that date? You can’t, you can’t, you can’t??

What the heck can you do? It’s no wonder that the rest of the world thinks we’re brain-washed! 

Everyone, newsflash: You actually can because you were given agency when you came down here. If Satan had his way, then maybe you could use nonsense words like “can’t”.

But in this Gospel, we don’t teach people that we can’t do things. We teach them that we don’t do them. So...what is the difference?

You see, I can skip church on Sunday to sleep in and watch Netflix, but I don’t because I want to go to church. I can decline my calling in the ward, but I don’t because I like the feeling I get when I serve.

I can drink coffee at the coffee house across the street, but I don’t because I have faith that the Lord has asked me not to, and I know I’ll lose the Spirit if I do. (Plus I flat out think it smells gross.)

I can listen to explicit music about drugs and sex, but I don’t because I don’t feel uplifted by it. 

I can watch pornographic movies with my buddies, but I don’t because it’s demeaning to what I believe God intended our bodies to be, and mocks the two greatest commandments to love. 

Ultimately, I can do anything I want to do, but I don’t; I follow the teachings of Christ because I’ve learned that doing so allows me to have the Holy Ghost as my companion, and I wouldn’t sacrifice that for a cup of coffee or some movie. 

Prophets and church leaders don’t issue standards to regulate our behavior to make us “old fashioned”; they issue standards because they’re a revealed formula that brings us closer to Christ by having the Spirit. They also bring us happiness!

We shouldn’t live commandments because we can’t do the alternative…we should live commandments because we choose to of our own free will and choice; because they are what make us happy; because we should want to live them. 

So if you feel like commandments and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet are lists of things you can’t do, I invite you to think again. If you feel like you only do things to avoid criticism and “judgment” from leaders and friends, I invite you to start truly seeking answers. 

Consider why you live the standards you do. Seek to find the joy in living them, because that’s what they’re really there for. 

“When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” ― Ezra Taft Benson

“And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness.” Mosiah 2:41

Thanks for reading!

God be with you till we meet again.

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

Not Everything Happens For a Reason, And This is Why

I really hope I don’t shake anyone’s faith with the title! But for some reason I’ve just been thinking a lot about this lately - I'm not even sure how much this matters, but it is what it is, I guess. Anyway, these are some of my thoughts!

*    *    *

The Plan of Salvation cannot function without the key element of agency. Agency is a gift given to God’s children to choose our own path - to obey his commandments or not to. God holds this gift with such sacrosanctity that He will never interfere with it! He will not make decisions for us - ever. 

In all matters except for the Creation, the Fall, the atonement of Christ, and the Second Coming, God’s will cannot be done unless we allow it to be. God loves us, and it is therefore His will to do good and bless us; but the scriptures tell us that our faith is what precedes miracles, not God’s love. Our obedience is what brings blessings, not God’s love. 

How, therefore, could everything happen for a reason if God does not control our agency?

When your son is hit by a drunk driver, did that happen for a reason?

When you’re absolutely lonely because you spent all your time with a boyfriend or girlfriend, and now you’ve broken up and have no friends, did that happen for a reason? 

When Islamic terrorists behead innocent people and post it to the internet, does that have a reason?

What about when you find out your husband is cheating on you, your child left the church and won’t speak to you anymore, or you’re fired from your job based on your poor performance in the work place, did any of those things happen “for a reason”? 

No. I’m sorry to say that they didn’t happen for a reason. 

Look, sometimes crap just happens, and it’s not God’s fault that somebody - maybe us - used agency poorly. Hear me out though, because there is a silver lining! 

*    *    *

God knows the end from the beginning, not because He has decided what will happen and what we will do, but because He simply knows us so well that He knows what we will do, and He has formulated a plan accordingly. That plan is Jesus Christ. 

The Christ is God’s way of mending the broken hearts of His children after agency has been used for ill. Even though not everything happens for a reason, His atonement allows us to respond to those things in such a way that we turn those things for our good. 

Families whose children are killed by drunk drivers have found power to forgive, and even care for and help the drunk drivers who killed their child. They turned a tragedy into an opportunity to demonstrate Christ-like love, changing their lives and the drunk driver’s life forever. 

Does that mean that God arranged for a drunk driver to kill their son so that the family and the drunk driver could grow closer together and to God? Absolutely not! But He knew it would happen, so He arranged for Jesus to perform the atoning sacrifice, which allowed the family to respond to life in such a way that turned their trial into a blessing. Jesus Christ was God’s will, not the killing. 

When you find yourself alone because someone you love has left you, do not blame God for it. It probably wasn’t His will to bring you heartache - in fact, it probably wasn’t His will that you date them in the first place! But now that you’ve come to this situation, it is His will that you rely on the power of Christ, learn from your experience, and grow closer to Him thereby. 

I fear that too often we get into the habit of saying, “Well everything happens for a reason! Therefore…” and then we go on to basically place accountability on God instead of ourselves. And yes, when we are doing our best to know and follow God’s will, then many things - not all, but many - will happen for a reason because our faith and obedience are inviting the power of God into our lives. 

But often, things happen to us simply because of our own poor choices or the poor choices of those around us; these are not God’s will, nor do they happen “for a reason”. But God has given us a scapegoat to our pain, if we are willing to use it! 

God never said anywhere in the scriptures: "Behold, I say unto you that all things whatsoever shall happen unto you shall be for a reason." It's not how He works, and it violates His own laws. (It sounds kind of silly anyway.)

So even though not everything happens for a reason, everything does have the potential to work out for our good if we will only respond to them by walking uprightly before God. 

Romans 8:28

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God.”

Doctrine and Covenants 105:40

“And make proposals for peace unto those who have smitten you, according to the voice of the Spirit which is in you, and all things shall work together for your good.”

Doctrine and Covenants 100:15

“Therefore, let your hearts be comforted; for all things shall work together for good to them that walk uprightly, and to the sanctification of the church.”

Doctrine and Covenants 90:24

“Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.”

Doctrine and Covenants 98:3

“Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.”

Thanks for reading! 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

How to get more out of Christ's sermon on the mount

The Sermon on the Mount has gone down through history as one of the greatest discourses of all time. But to be quite honest, I never really understood why. 

I know a lot of people would hate me for saying this, but I never really appreciated the Savior’s most famous discourse - I think it just seemed too…arbitrary. I used to regard the sermon as a bunch of random, unrelated pieces of good counsel to a nation of protocol-obsessed robots. 

But then all that changed one day in Institute. 

Side-note: stay in Institute, kids. 

This last semester, my class was Book of Mormon, part 2, and included in that curriculum is, of course, the Savior’s visit to the Nephites. When we got to chapter 12, where the sermon in question is contained, Brother Bingham mentioned something I found intensely fascinating! In his own studies, he had discovered that the Sermon on the Mount was a chiasmus. 

What is a chiasmus? It’s an ancient Jewish method of teaching and writing, almost poetic in structure. Its pattern goes something like this:

Topic A

           Topic B

                     Topic C

                     Topic C

           Topic B

Topic A

They speak on a variety of topics, and then re-address those same topics in reverse order, offering deeper insight or information. Some could be small like this one above, but were often deeply complex and extensive. 

Chiasmi occur multiple times in the Book of Mormon in a variety of lengths, ranging from one to two verses like the one found in Mosiah 3:18-19, to entire chapters like Alma 36 (one of the best chapters in the Book of Mormon, if you ask me). 

But I digress. 

The Sermon on the Mount is a chiasmus where the Beatitudes - “Blessed are the meek…,” etc. - are the first half, and then the rest of the sermon is counsel on how to be have the beatitudes!  

Let me explain.

So, you want to know what it means to be a peacemaker, but don’t know what the Savior meant by that? Well, you can just go to the section of the sermon that correlates to that particular beatitude, and voila!

Some of these, however, don't address how to have that beatitude, but instead explain the blessing. For example, 'blessed are those that mourn' does not address what it is to mourn, but rather how those that mourn will be comforted.  

1. Blessed are those who give heed unto the Twelve 

I    2. Blessed are the poor in spirit

I    I    3. Blessed are those that mourn

I    I    I    4. Blessed are the meek

I    I    I    I    5. Blessed are those that hunger and thirst after righteousness

I    I    I    I    I    6. Blessed are the merciful

I    I    I    I    I    I    7. Blessed are the pure in heart

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    8. Blessed are the peacemakers

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    9. Blessed are they who are persecuted for Christ’s sake

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    10. Blessed are ye if ye are reviled, and have evil spoken falsely of you 

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    10. 3 Nephi 12:12-16

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    I    9. 3 Nephi 12:17-20

I    I    I    I    I    I    I    8. 3 Nephi 12:21-26

I    I    I    I    I    I    7. 3 Nephi 12:27-37

I    I    I    I    I    6. 3 Nephi 12:38-48

I    I    I    I    5. 3 Nephi 13:1-24

I    I    I    4. 3 Nephi 13:25 - 14:6

I    I    3. 3 Nephi 14:7-11

I    2. 3 Nephi 14:12-14

1. 3 Nephi 14:15-27

You’ll notice that some of the references are much lengthier than others. Chiasmi do not have to give equal attention to any particular topic; I suppose that the Savior felt that only two verses were sufficient for some, while twenty-four verses were needed for others.

And keep in mind that none of this is perfect! You may study it yourself and decide that other verses match better than the ones I’ve found. That’s okay - this is only meant to get you thinking and digging. Since this was the Savior’s priority sermon, it must be important to drink deeply from and understand. I feel like this structure allows us to implement it easier.

For example; in my life lately, I’ve felt like I was lacking in Spiritual companionship. Reading in the sermon, I noticed that those who “hunger and thirst after righteousness” are promised the blessing of being “filled with the Holy Ghost.” 

Turning to 3 Nephi 13:1-24, I’ve reflected on the counsel therein, and found it to be true in my life; I’ve been able to unearth sins I didn’t realize I was committing, and have endeavored to change my attitude and motivation for certain activities, finding that the Holy Ghost has indeed, been a more constant companion as a result!

I invite you to read through the Sermon and ponder its teachings; as you do, you will find a blessing you are in need of, or a beatitude you are lacking in. Use this structure as a guide to help you change! I promise that it can, and that you will be better equipped to live the Savior’s teachings with direction. 

I testify that the scriptures are true, and that Christ lives. His gospel and teachings are the only pathway to peace and happiness in life! I share this testimony with you in His sacred name, the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Thanks for reading! I hope that this gave you some insight! God be with you til we meet again. 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

Could our weaknesses actually be gifts from God?

“God,

Before He sent his children to earth

Gave each of them

A very carefully selected package

Of problems.

These,

He promised, smiling,

Are yours alone, No one

Else may have the blessings

These problems will bring you.

And only you

Have the special talents and abilities

That will be needed

To make these problems

Your servants.

…”

It’s been said that we’re all human. I think that's true. It’s also been said that because of that, we all make mistakes, or we all have weaknesses. Weaknesses that, no matter what, we just can’t seem to shake. 

When I was on my mission, I encountered sides of myself that I had never met before. I also re-encountered sides of myself that I had tried desperately to forget! 

When you’re a missionary, you suddenly become aware of every single one of your flaws. Why? I think it’s because missionaries are trying so hard to be good, that any deterrent from that is painfully obvious. The brighter the light around you becomes, the more clearly you can see how dirty you are.

Wasn’t it Moroni, who was so ashamed of his writing ability (of all things) that God had to give him a confidence boost? Among other things, He said to Moroni, “If men come unto me, I will show unto them their weakness” (Ether 12:27). It’s part of the deal! The more you repent, the more flawed you see yourself. 

So beware, future missionaries. You may have looked up to elders and sisters your whole life, and thought them to be capable of no wrong; but when you become a missionary, that is the opposite of how you’re going to feel about yourself!

Not-So-Super Heroes

I always thought missionaries were super heroes. 

I don’t know what my problem was (I obviously didn’t understand the gospel yet), but I had a subconscious belief that as soon as I got my name tag, I was somehow going to tap into that. As if I was going to inherit some super missionary powers! Instantly endowed with faith, constant revelation, and testimony! 

No such luck. Instead, all I got was a realization of everything I sucked at!

One night in my first area, I was so discouraged that my whole journal entry for that day was a list of things I did badly: 

“I can’t relate to anyone. I’m awkward, clumsy, and embarrassing. I can’t learn anything. I can’t say anything. I can’t remember anything. …I’m the most clueless person… My studying habits are in the pits. I can’t focus on anything. I can’t think of anything! I can’t bike fast enough. … I never feel the spirit. … And in 8 hours it starts all over again.”

There was no hope of overcoming these problems or getting better, just the problems. I became so caught up in my own weaknesses, that I forgot the point of having them in the first place!

The Purpose of Weakness

So what is the point of having weakness?

Again, Moroni and his writing ineptitude are to thank. Also in Ether 12:27, God said to Moroni:

“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble…” 

Okay, that’s comforting! I suck at talking to people so that I don’t get cocky, alright! Sounds good. But…then what? What if I’ve got to that point where I’m no longer cocky? I’ve accepted that I suck at a few things...so...?

“…And my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” 

You mean that even though I’m this bad at talking, even though I just had the most awkward conversation of my life with that woman leaving her apartment building, even though I dropped into a dead silence after only two sentences, I can still improve? And not only improve, but potentially become a great speaker?

All because of the Christ's atonement?? I thought the Atonement was just there to ask for forgiveness and stuff.  

Now here’s a thought. What if God intends for me to be a great speaker someday? What if part of my individual purpose in life requires me to be a great speaker? Now there’s something interesting. 

That would mean that God wants me to improve this weakness. Not only improve it, He wants me to excel in it.

It's like a cheat sheet. 

Could it be that our weaknesses are hints to our test? Could it be that you have something so important to accomplish that God wanted to give you a hint? But it just so happens that the best way He could do that was by making you so horrible at it that it’s always on your mind.

This way, it would distress you so much that it comes to mind whenever you read Ether 12:27. 

What is Your Weakness?

Think about a weakness you may have. Is it possible that God wants that to become your greatest strength, and then for you to change the world with it? What kind of good could you do if it was your greatest strength?

Your weakness could be anything; easily provoked, laziness, evil thoughts, selfishness, suck at algebra, slow of speech, or not powerful in writing? All of these qualify. 

Throughout my mission, I was blessed with the opportunity of working with other elders who struggled with the very same weaknesses that I had. Over and over again, I found myself listening to, counseling against, and working with them through their problems, though they seemed to be my own! By helping them, I ended up helping myself! In small ways, my weaknesses became strengths, not only for myself, but for others too.

At one point, even towards the end of my mission, I wrote to my dad about things I was struggling with. He responded with a letter that helped to change the course of the rest of my mission. Among many of the things he said to me, he included a poem written by my grandpa, Blaine Yorgason, titled “The Monument,” found in his book Charlie’s Monument. The beginning I have included at the front of this post, and here I conclude:

“… 

Now go down to your birth

And to your forgetfulness, Know that

I love you beyond measure.

These problems that I give you

Are a symbol of that love.

The monuments you make of your life

With the help of your problems

Will be a symbol of your

Love for me,

Your Father.”

— Blaine M. Yorgason

I testify that we all have weaknesses, but they were never intended to remain weaknesses. Heavenly Father wants us to transform our weaknesses, and use them to bless the lives of those around us. 

I love the gospel, and I loved my mission! I’m so grateful for the opportunity to discover all of my weaknesses, so that now I can work to improve them. The Gospel is real, and I share this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

God be with you til we meet again! 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

Walking With the Gods

Kalimera! Greetings to you from Athens, Greece! For the last fortnight, I’ve had the privilege of touring the northern shores of the Mediterranean Sea; we started in Rome and moved east to Athens, while also seeing many of the islands including Mykonos, Crete, Rhodes, and Patmos, as well as making a stop in Kusudasi, Turkey to see the ancient city of Ephesus. It has been amazing! 

Can I say something? Americans don’t know what “old” is. Our tour director, David (who lives in Italy), told us of how he had lived in Los Angeles for a year in a 40 year-old house, and all his neighbors could talk about was how “old” his house was. His response was always the same: 

“Well my mother lives in a house that’s been there for three hundred years, and nobody in Italy would consider that to be old.”

I completely believe that. These countries are ancient! Literally. I was entirely overwhelmed at the abyss of time that these roads and walls have been through. We walked down cobblestone roads where emperors had walked in their gold-encrusted leather sandals upwards of 3,500 years ago. 

The buildings in Rome were absolutely beautiful! And I’m not talking about your average gold-leafed Roman Catholic chapel - I’m talking about basilicas with ceilings hundreds of feet high, held up by marble and granite columns that alone have more square feet than your average church gymnasium. 

I’m talking about floors completely paved by marble and ceilings infused with Renaissance fresco masterpieces; these edifices are where heat is retained by masterfully woven, twenty foot tall tapestries which carpet the walls, and light enters through windows paned with thin sheets of Egyptian alabaster stone. 

Out in the courtyard and upon the rooftops are marble sentinels that would give the statue of Zeus a run for his money; Peter wielding the keys of the Priesthood and Paul wielding the sword of truth, while angels in their billowing robes reach eternally towards the invisible Object of their adoration. 

You sit in the hand-carved wooden pews, and, when you’re not distracted by the sense of insecure micoscopicity (I made that word up) because of the immensity of the room, you get the chance to admire the gold crosses, the mosaics, frescoes, and statues. (As our tour guide explained, these things help the people to stay awake during the long services.)

The medieval Christians of Rome possessed a zealous dedication that could only be rivaled by that possessed by the ancient Greeks; the Mycenaean city and the tomb of Agamemnon, the Parthenon, and religious sites like Olympia - all leave their legacy in Roman architecture. Much of the Roman work seems to be inspired or adopted from the Greeks, and that kind of leads my thoughts today.  

Now, I’m not an artist, I’ve never been an artist, and I don’t really plan on being an artist. The best comment I can make on a piece of art is “Wow, that’s ambiguous.” If you know me, you’ll know the nerd that I am, and it will come as no surprise that a lot of what piqued my interest was the religious significance of these places as opposed to their artistic significance. 

What I found most interesting though, was that I seemed to be the only one who was interested in that aspect! I cannot speak for those in my tour group, but certainly not even the tour guides or officials seemed interested in the faith-base of their own spiritual capital, and if they did then they sure didn’t want to bring it up.

I mentioned earlier the Greeks and their ancient temples and cities, and how they have their influence in Roman Catholic society. Greeks had no problem in paying tribute to their pagan gods, and these were largely embodied in the statues, monuments, and temples built in their honor. 

These practices, as we know, were denounced by Jehovah in the Old Testament, and Paul in the New Testament. God, unlike the mythological characters in Greek history, does not desire to be endlessly worshipped and glorified for the sake of being endlessly worshipped and glorified - He wants us to worship and glorify Him so that we can come to know Him, to build a relationship with Him. 

I think that’s why statues and overly ornamented basilicas are not found in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Temples, yes, but nothing like what you see in Rome. When we focus too much on materials, we build a relationship with the material instead of our Father in Heaven. 

What comes to mind is the Nicene Creed, which was Emperor Constantine’s attempt to “define” Christianity. Among the many lamentable doctrines therein set forth, there is one that I find significant in all of this; that is, the idea that God, among other things, is “unknowable”; He is a distant and mysterious figure who we are to fear and somehow adore. 

In a talk called “The Only True God and Jesus Christ Whom He Hath Sent,” Elder Holland posed the question: how are we to worship, love or adore (to say nothing of “try to be like”) a god whom we cannot know? The idea that God is unknowable and unapproachable is, I believe, rooted in ancient Greek paganism, and the Roman Catholic cathedrals are a physical representation of that doctrine. 

What I continued to dwell on as I toured these monasteries and basilicas, was the feelings I had while I was there. No, I didn’t feel like it was dark or evil as some might think, but I certainly can’t say it was very warm or edifying. 

What did I feel? Well, to be quite honest, I felt, well - nothing! Nothing at all. (That is, of course, once I got through my stunned silence.) So why didn’t I feel anything? Some might say it was the sheer volume of empty space that provided such a chill within their walls, or some might say it was the condescending look in the Savior’s eyes as He gazed down from the enormous mosaics, but for me it was just the fact that the Spirit wasn’t there. 

Call me a home-grown Mormon, but as beautiful as the Catholic basilicas are, I can’t wait to get home and go to the temple. There is something so simple and beautiful about the gospel, that when you try and turn it into an art display, it loses its meaning. 

I know what you’re thinking! Temples are big, elaborate and beautiful too! But it’s different. Like I said before, the gospel is simple, and that’s the kind of beauty I think that the temple has. Simple beauty. 

The temple has a very special element about it. It’s pure and perfect. Everything is precise and elegant, but nothing is gaudy or ostentatious. We do not make temples beautiful for the purpose of being beautiful; we make temples beautiful for the purpose of being a place where the Lord would want to be. There is a small but important difference there. 

In John 17:3, Jesus explains that eternal life consists in knowing the Only true God, as well as Jesus Christ whom he hath sent. If we are to come to know God, we must be in places that God would like to be in. 

On my mission I heard Catholics say that their faith was strengthened after touring the Vatican City. Interesting to note that my faith has been strengthened as well! But not for the same reasons. My faith has been rooted even more deeply in God’s presence in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because I know for a fact that it wasn’t in Peter’s or Paul’s Basilica, to say nothing of the thousands of other churches in Rome or the Orthodox buildings in Greece.

The faith and the dedication was there in construction, but the mark was missed, and the Spirit would not, nor will it, live there. One simple sacrament meeting chapel is more warm, light, and edifying than the entirety of St. Peter’s Basilica (the largest basilica in the world, in case you’re wondering. They have a giant ruler on the floor to prove it)!

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to criticize or offend! My purpose in writing this was not to put down Roman Catholic faith! What I simply mean to express is the increased love and dedication I’ve gained for my own faith. The contrast I felt between our temples and every church we visited (even St. John’s monastery on the Isle of Patmos) was a simple black and white difference. 

I love the church. I love being a Mormon! I love being in the temple and I love being in church. I love the sacrament, reading scriptures, and I love praying! I feel warm, light, and edified when the Holy Ghost is present; I love the Gospel, and most importantly, I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father, and hope to come to know them more. I take great peace in knowing that I can know them better. 

I’ve seen the sun rise over Mount Kronos onto Olympia, and I’ve seen it set on the horizon of the Mediterranean Sea; I’ve seen it rain on the broken remains of Agamemnon’s palace, and I’ve touched the walls of the Grotto of the Apocalypse; I’ve walked where hundreds of gladiators fell by the mouth of lions, as well as through catacombs filled with the remains of thousands of early Christian saints and martyrs. 

Still, in all the ancient world, there is nothing quite like the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

After walking with the gods of ancient Greece and post-apostolic Christianity, I would still rather walk with the true Spirit of God in my heart. 

The church is true, everyone, and the book is blue! God be with you til we meet again! 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

Happy Deathday!

Well I can’t believe it finally happened. It’s been exactly a year since I came home from Minnesota! I swear, if life continues to move this quickly then I quit. I’m done. I’m going home! 

Our Work and Our Glory

My last night in the MTC was spent amid the flames of the wrath and love of Jeffrey R. Holland. That was one of the most powerful nights of my life! I remember distinctly some counsel he gave that I can never forget. 

“When your two years or eighteen months are up,” he said. “I don’t ever want any of you to say to yourselves: ‘Ok, now back to real life!’ In mortality, this period of your life spent in the service of the Lord is as close to real life as you’re ever going to get!”

This statement went through my heart like a javelin.

It brought to life what Moses 1:39 says so clearly, that it is the Lord’s work and glory “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” If that is the Lord’s work, and is to be our eternal destiny, then isn’t that what “real life” is? Truly, when laboring in the Lord’s service, we are laboring to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of everyone we come in contact with, and are thus closer to “real life” than we ever will be again on this fallen earth. 

After a short year of being in this counterfeit life, I still miss the feeling of being in the Lord’s service. Yeah it was hard! I’m not going to lie to you - there were times when all I wanted to do was return home to bed. Yes, it was cold, it was harsh, it was sometimes hurtful and even lonely - but just like any returned missionary, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. 

Our Sacred Grove

I remember meeting my family at the airport, and being consumed by their hugs and screeches (yes, screeches). I remember going with them to lunch, and getting humored looks as I offered to say a blessing over the JCW’s we had just ordered. I remember bearing my testimony in the Stake President’s office with my loving family, and being able to see just how real the Gospel is. Least fond of all these memories is when I took off my name tag for the last time. 

“Dying” was a sober experience.

Because no matter how much you love your family and friends, no matter how much you’ve missed them, no matter how much you want to catch up and write new adventures with them, they were never there with you on your mission. They never knew you only as Elder Yorgason; they never stood at a doorstep and testified to a closing door; they never cried with you at your bedside as you sought the Lord’s pavilion. 

The mission is a sacred experience. Truly, it’s many of our personal sacred grove! It’s between you and the Lord. As much as we try, we will never be able to communicate in simple words the “unspeakable joy” (Helaman 5:44) that comes when an investigator prays for the first time, receives an answer in the Book of Mormon, feels the power of coming to church, or weeps at the pronouncement: “receive the Holy Ghost”. We just can’t! Weekly emails simply aren’t enough! I’m sorry Church HQ, but they’re just not adequate. 

Several weeks after I came home, I penned the following: 

“I loved seeing all my friends and family the night I came home, but there was something off about it. For two years nobody had called me by my first name. I had been Elder Yorgason. But that night, there were these loving people, throwing “Taylor” out there like some kind of lot to be cast! 

“As Taylor stood in the living room and hugged the long unseen guests who were arriving, Elder Yorgason quietly snuck, unobserved, to the opposite end of the room. There he leaned against the wall, and watched the celebrations and how-de-doing with an understanding but still lonely feeling, knowing that these people, though they loved Taylor, will never truly know Elder Yorgason or what he experienced.”

Take note, friends: the often posed question to a missionary: “How was your mission?” simply does not even begin to cut it. 

Let me clarify: this is not to say that I did not intend to remain changed by my mission! But there was a distinct sadness as I realized that I was no longer a full-time missionary. I realized that I was done! I was home! My mission had taken an abrupt 90 degree turn, and I suddenly had to deal with this fake life around me. 

And I still don’t know how to deal with this fake life around me, believe me. However, there are some key practices that definitely get you through it!

Tips For the Returning Missionary

One year ago today I passed beyond the veil and re-entered this fabrication we call life. I have not done as well as I could have! I’m not a perfect member missionary, or a perfect RM. But just as on my mission, I’ve done my best, and that’s all I can expect from myself. 

Having reviewed the last 12 months since coming home, I’ve discovered a few eternal truths that RMs should follow. And do you want to know what I’ve discovered? It’s just like being a missionary. 

1. Stay Organized

The first withdrawal I went through was not having a planner. I just could not help but feel all the time like there was something else I was meant to be doing at any given time! At the same time, I felt overwhelmed because of all the things I had to do to get settled into home life. So keeping track of all my obligations was huge for me, and a planner is very helpful for that.

2. Scripture Study

The first habit to decline when I got home was effective scripture study. I lasted about a week with an hour long study time, but shortly after that I began reading at night again. Reading scriptures at night is probably the worst thing a RM can do. We like to get our eight hours, so if it’s too late, study time gets reduced. Set time aside (at least 30 min) in the mornings to read, and stay consistent. I recently got back into this habit and it’s blessed my life immensely! 

3. Consult With the Lord in Everything

This is more than praying a lot! I missed no opportunity in asking Heavenly Father what He wanted me to be doing, and I don’t regret it. Turns out He had a lot of opinions! He got me a job, a car, a laptop, and into college, among many other things, both luxury and necessity. 

Okay, the job and the car came from my parents, but who was it that softened their hearts to help me out with those things? :) I directly attribute all of these blessings to the hand of the Lord. He takes good care of His returned missionaries! And these things all came about because I took literally everything to Him.

4. Good Media

I don’t care if we don’t have a Missionary Handbook anymore, RMs are still very sensitive to the Spirit, and there are certain types of media that definitely drive it away. Movies, tv, music - continue to participate in uplifting media! Continue to listen to mission music if you can! I still rock out to Battle of Jericho. As for video games, I would just avoid them altogether if you can…but that’s just me. :)

5. Get Into College Soon

It took me six months, which was way too long. Just trust me, you’ll want to get into school asap! Just do it. 

6. Weekly Temple Attendance

I haven’t been good at attending the temple every week, but I do try! The temple is the best place to get answers to prayers and feel the Spirit in abundance. It was like a hospital for me when I was newly home! And attending the temple is what will arm you against the arms of the adversary, which leads me to my next thought. 

7. Don’t Get Discouraged

Guess what. Just because you’re a returned missionary doesn’t mean that the adversary doesn’t have any influence over you. This frustrated me a great deal because I felt so looked to by others as an example, yet I was still struggling with being a mortal! Why? I thought I was an awesome RM! 

Well it so happens that we all fall short. Shocker. Just continue to be patient with yourself and continue to apply the Doctrine of Christ just like you did on your mission! Missions don’t teach you how to be perfect - they teach you how to repent! Press forward. 

8. Continue to Share Your Testimony

I don't pretend to be the guy who shares the gospel with all his nonmember friends, but I can think of way too many talks, books, and quotes that tell us to do this. Let's all get better at this ok? I'm trying to be better, and we all need to! If nothing else, find someone who you can talk to regularly about the gospel - it's ok if they're a member. Talking about the gospel is still the most refreshing topic I can talk about! Find someone to talk to, it'll do wonders. 

9. REMEMBER.

It seems like the longer you’re home, the harder it becomes to remember. Even coming off the plane or walking into your house for the first time makes you feel almost as though it had never happened! It’s hard to reconcile the universe of the mission field with the universe of home. 

This is why it’s so easy to slip back into old habits so quickly. We sometimes fault returned missionaries for becoming lazy or losing habits of diligent scripture study or the like, but the sad reality is that because you’re home, it sometimes feels as though the mission never even happened. The most important thing for RMs to do is to remember their mission as often as they can. 

In Closing

And of course, don’t forget to have fun and be happy. To put it into the words of Gordon B. Hinckley, life is to be enjoyed - not just endured! Continue to love and serve others - especially family. 

Okay! Fine, okay, okay, I’m done. I’ll stop patronizing you all. There's way too much to say about this. Let me just say this before I get off my soap box though: To sum all this up, just be a missionary, dangit! Because that’s what we’re going to be doing for eternity anyway! Might as well get some good practice in. Live like a missionary, brothers and sisters. In an ideal world, there would be no missionaries, because there would be no need! We would be doing all the work. So let’s do our best! Live like a missionary.

I know I'm getting wordy, but I want to take a paragraph to express to everyone in Minnesota my love for you, and how much I miss you! I think about you guys all the time and hope you're still going strong. :) The Gospel is real! Christ came to Atone for our sins, and to bring families together for eternity. It's our responsibility and privilege now to take advantage of those blessings and share them with others. I love Christ. I love my Father in Heaven, and I'm so grateful for all those amazing (and sometimes scary) experiences they allowed me to have on my mission! Again, I wouldn't trade it for the entire world. Not a chance. 

The church is true, everyone. And let’s not forget - the book, as always, is so blue it's ridiculous! I so testify in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Thanks for reading! God be with you till we meet again. 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary

PS - Shout out to all my fellow RMs who died on this day - happy deathday! Love you all too. :)
PPS - Long live District 26-A!

Pathways Through Snow

Good afternoon, friends on the internet! 

I come to you today from the little town of Ephraim - the lobby of the Suites at Academy Square, to be exact. Typically I would not be in the lobby, because more often than not, the notoriously indecorous college students use it as a rowdy hangout. Thankfully, however, today they are not.

For some reason, it seems like the students here at the Suites seem to be more of the party group than the others - perhaps it’s just the nature of on-campus housing? For example, one such student with a great beard and a mischievous look on his face just crept across the room holding a large halloween clown mask in his hand. Do I even want to know?

So why aren’t I in my college dorm you ask? Well, to be quite frank, my dorm, at the moment, smells like feet wrapped in old sweaty ham and doused with Axe. Axe, Anarchy scented. Yeah. Axe Anarchy. Not to mention, my roommate is dead asleep, and I don’t want to prove a disturbance to him at such an early hour of the late afternoon. After all, he needs his rest. 

I don’t want to come across as being discontented with my living situation! All things considered it’s very nice, and my roommates are great guys. Granted, I don’t see them that often because I spend so much time on campus, but hey - the time that I do spend with them is pleasant, so don’t think that I’m complaining. 

Speaking of all that, I'm gonna tell you guys a story! How does that sound? :)

Brief Background
Coming to Snow College has been quite an adventure, all things considered. As you may or may not know, I became engaged to be married last semester, and would have been married for a month by now. Due to many importunes of the Spirit, however, she and I called it all off and now she’s going on a mission to Peru! It was quite a dramatic event, the details of which I will not harrow you with at this time; suffice it to say that we followed the Lord’s promptings and we’re both at peace with our decisions. 

But life was not to simply return to its former state so smoothly. You see, because of the engagement, I had sold my housing contract. In addition, amidst all the chaos and drama, I allowed my grades to drop below what they should have been, and I lost my scholarship. I now had no money, nowhere to live, and no idea of what to do. 

During the holiday break, I wrote a letter to have my scholarship appealed because I knew that if I didn’t get it back, I couldn’t afford to return to Ephraim! So for three weeks I was at the uncertain mercy of the Scholarship board. Trying to remain positive, I registered for all of my classes and simply planned on returning. 

Days passed. Weeks passed. Still no word from the Scholarship board.

Seeking Answers From the Lord

Finally it came down the the last Friday before school should start! I had three days before classes began, and I still did not know what I was to do. As any RM would, I had been praying constantly about this but without any miraculous revelation. At this time I decided to break out the big guns. I went to the temple. 

I was determined to stay until I knew how to proceed. On one hand I could go down to Ephraim in the morning and have faith that they eventually give me my scholarship back, or I could begin applying for jobs at home and take the semester off. While in the temple I was not getting the impressions I had hoped. So I continued to pray! 

There is one thing I had to keep in mind during this whole process: the Lord does not direct a motionless vessel. I could not simply ask Him what I should do and expect that He give me every detail needed to proceed! We must first be moving in a particular direction. Then, when we are off course, He will correct us; when we are on the right course, He will comfort us. Such was my case: I had concocted a course of action and was seeking comfort in it. My plan was to return to Ephraim in the morning, seek a job at Key Research Solutions (a lovely call center in town), and hope that I got my scholarship. With a job, I would be able to make enough money to pay for food - but just barely. A job and my scholarship were both necessary if I were to return.

At length, the answer came. Among other things, I was instructed to proceed with my current plan to return to Ephraim! I questioned what I were to do if I did not get my scholarship, to which the Lord replied that I didn’t need to worry about that right now. If it happened that way, He would direct me further. Having been enveloped by the light, airy feelings of the Spirit, I looked up and walked out of the temple with purpose in my stride.  Finally! I knew what I should do. 

Entering the Bondage Stage

However. You know that feeling you get when you step into the dark expecting there to be a stair, only to be met with empty atmosphere? Your heart leaps into your throat and panic shoots through you. Well, this was nothing like that. This was more like walking into a low-hanging tree branch. 

Later that night as I was writing down my impressions from the temple, I had the sudden impression to check my account on the college website, where information concerning my scholarship would be located. I sprang to my laptop and searched through my account. I came across a notification. What I read deflated my confidence quite a bit. 

I was not given my scholarship. Instead they had granted me a sum of money that, while generous, was yet smaller than the sum granted me last semester.

I was stunned! What the heck am I supposed to do now? All the purpose in my stride had been yanked out of my knees! In frustration I made a vague post on Facebook and went to bed. A good friend of mine, seeing my post, had been through something similar and began texting me. As we talked I was comforted in the idea of staying home and finding a job. I can do this! It’s the smart thing to do. This way I can earn more money and pay off my debt, build a small video business with my friends, life would be great! 

I Finally Know What To Do! Or...At Least I Think I Do

So the next morning I made it official! Facebook official. I was officially staying home. I got on Snow’s website, dropped all of my classes, and registered for a few online classes. This way I could get credits while not having to pay for rent or groceries. My life was going to go pretty good. And now I didn’t have to panic about moving down to Ephraim that day! I was officially warmed up to this new course I was to follow, and I trusted that this is what the Lord meant when He told me not to worry about it - He would take care of it. 

Once again, however, I must mention that the Lord only directs vessels in motion, and when needed will correct our course. On Sunday morning the Lord woke me up with the words: “Taylor. You need to be in Ephraim.”

Are you kidding me? ...No? You’re serious? Yeah. You’re serious. Ok. Well. I guess I kinda saw this coming. It’s to be expected for a guy who just spent the last few weeks writing about “Deliverance Stories” and posting them on his blog. 

On Bondage and Deliverance

Speaking of which, I want to comment on just that: this deliverance story I find myself placed in. If you read my last blog on deliverance and captivity, this will be a short repeat. 

Often, the Lord intentionally leads us into captivity. That captivity takes many forms! It could be a literal bondage, financial struggle, being single, leaving a group of friends, leaving your job, moving to another home, going on a mission, or a combination of a few of these things, as my situation is. No matter what the details, the elements are the same. 

1) God brings you there; 2) circumstances are unfavorable; 3) circumstances seem beyond your control; 4) God promises that things will be okay. That’s what this was like. I had no money, no job, no housing, no schedule, no group of friends to go with, and no clue if I could make it work. What I did have, however, was Nephi’s promise that the “Lord giveth no commandment unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7). 

Needless to say, Sunday came and went and I had a place to live, classes to go to in the morning, and reassurance that my “captivity” would be but temporary. This promise has proven to be fulfilled so far! Given this fact, I trust that it will continue to be fulfilled. 

God Always Delivers

I drove down Monday morning, missing only two of my classes that day. Throughout the afternoon between activities, I slowly moved in to my dorm and became acquainted with my roommates. I even figured out my ward and made it to our FHE activity that night! I was very happy to learn that I had several friends from last semester in my ward who helped immensely to make me feel welcome. 

By Tuesday night I had met my professors, met with school counsellors, worked out plans, and secured a job at Key Research Solutions. Thus far, every aspect of the Lord’s promise has been fulfilled! Now am I always happy? No. Do I sometimes feel lost? Of course! Such are the conditions of captivity. But God will always deliver, for He wants to be my Light, my Comfort, and my Fire - and He will be, so long as I let Him. I pray that I always will!

I testify that the Lord keeps His promises! His title of “Deliverer” is not just what we call Him because He atoned for us, though that is a great part of it. He is the Deliverer because He loves to deliver us. He delivers because He loves us; He delivers because He loves to help; He delivers because He wants to be known; He delivers because He wants us to trust Him; He delivers so that we will follow Him; He delivers so that we will stand as witnesses for Him thereafter. 

I love my Savior and my Father in Heaven. Even though they sometimes draw these ridiculous pathways through snow and tell me to follow, I know that they only do it for my good. For whatever reason I really need to be here, so I guess I’ll find out when I need to! 

The moral here: follow the Lord, no matter what the cost. He will make it work! 

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Thanks for sticking with me through this long entry! I hope you found something here that was beneficial for you. God be with you till we meet again! 

Sincerely, 

Taylor, a dead missionary